How Do You Teach Kids to Pray?

What if teaching your child to pray could be as simple and joyful as blowing bubbles? 

Heidi and Melanie share their experiences in teaching their children to pray, provide suggestions on introducing prayer to your kids, and motivate you to begin this meaningful journey, regardless of your children's age.

Helpful Links from this Episode:
Some linked items are affiliate links. This means that we receive an itty-bitty commission if you choose to purchase through these links.  

• How to Pray the Scriptures Podcast Episode
• Prayer Songs (10 Fingers Folded in Prayer)
• Creating a Prayer Journal
• I Can Talk with God by Debby Anderson (While we didn't discuss this book in the podcast, it is an excellent children's book to explain prayer to children.)
• How to Teach a Child to Pray

Episode Sponsor:  ABCJesusLovesMe.com, an educational ministry that equips adults with the materials needed to be intentional in educating children.

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Thanks for listening!

Chapters

• 0:00 Teaching Children to Pray
• 10:38 Teaching Children Prayer Practice

Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

Heidi Franz, Host 00:00

As parents and teachers, we know that teaching children to pray is one of our most important roles. But for many of us, prayer is difficult in our own lives and the idea of teaching it to our children feels like one more to do on our very long list. But what if we chose to see prayer as a beautiful invitation to connect and communicate with God? What if we made prayer as simple as talking about the weather? Today we’re going to go back into the archives and look at one of our most popular podcast episodes on teaching our children to pray. I invite you to listen.

Welcome back to Parenting to Impress, your go-to podcast, to learn practical ways to love God and love others and impress this on the hearts of your children. I am your host, Heidi Franz, and I am joined by my dear friend, Melanie Simpson.  Two moms who have made a lot of mistakes but have found grace and truth along the way.

So in the last episode we discussed how to pray the scriptures and why it is important. If you haven’t listened to that one, I encourage you to go back. We’ll include the link in the show notes so you can. But we discussed how it can grow your faith, understand who God is and focus your prayer time. But now, Melanie, how do we teach our children to pray?

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 01:23

It’s one of our most important roles as moms is to lead and to teach our children how to talk to God through prayer. But I think a lot of us come to the table thinking little kids don’t understand prayer.

Heidi Franz, Host 01:36

But I believe in some ways children actually understand prayer better than I do. While the Bible doesn’t specifically tell us to have childlike faith, there are multiple passages that talk about becoming like children in our faith. Mark 10 says Jesus called the children to him and He used children as an example of this innocent faith.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 02:01

And then Jesus has very harsh words for the Pharisees and the Sadducees who made prayer all about showing off their knowledge. There was distinction made between heart knowledge and head knowledge, and Jesus was not a fan of those showy prayers.

Heidi Franz, Host 02:18

So we actually need to be more like children when we come to God in prayer. 

One of the ABCJesusLovesMe users shared the idea of blowing bubbles. The idea of blowing bubbles is like sending our prayers to God. And so she took her children outside with a bottle of bubbles.  She explained that the bubbles in the air are what it’s like when we pray, Our prayers go to God.  Children understand this concept.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 02:49

I love that. You know it’s interesting. When we have really young children – we’ll say preschool age and younger – it’s not so much about them understanding prayer.  That’s a big concept.  But it’s more about exposing them to prayer.  Letting them see us pray, making it just this natural, organic part of our day. It happens at meals.  It happens at bedtimes and  in the car.  It’s just second nature to them. When do we start teaching our children to pray? Is there a certain age?

Heidi Franz, Host 03:16

This is a question that I get asked a lot on Facebook.  It’s never too early to begin. There is nothing more precious than a 14-month-old folding his hands, bowing his head, listening to an adult pray. I so remember when our toddlers repeated phrases after me, thanking God for the food.

Some would say that they’re too young to understand, but I feel it’s never too early to begin to lay a foundation of communication with God and making it a natural part of their daily lives because hopefully it’s a natural part of yours.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 04:00

It is a beautiful way of showing our children that the God that we pray to, the God that we talk about is a personal God. He wants that interaction, that intimate connection. And so I think it’s just like anything else. When we teach our kids, we model it.

We don’t just hand our kid a toothbrush and say, go brush your teeth. We stand there with them, we do it for them for a long time and then eventually we hand over the reins with them. Saying these simple prayers at mealtimes and at bedtimes may feel boring to us, but praying over and over is learning for toddlers. Preschoolers learn though repetition.

Heidi Franz, Host 04:38

Teaching a child to pray can happen even before they’re verbal.  You don’t have to wait until they have a huge vocabulary. We began in our family is what I call “hand over hand.” I would take my child’s hands, fold them together gently with mine, and then hold them together until the prayer was over.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 05:00

Oh my goodness, I miss those chubby little fingers folded up. We would do this kneeling at bedtime, right by the bedside.  I would kneel, and then, when they were really little, I would just tuck them into my lap.  As they get older, they would kneel beside me.  Just another way to model a posture of prayer and prepare children to pray on their own.

Heidi Franz, Host 05:19

When I’m leading preschool worship at church, I sing a little song with them.  I’m going to sing it for you and we will include these words in the show notes so you can do this song with your family as well. The song is so simple. It goes like this

One little, two little, three little fingers,
Four little, five little, six little fingers,
Seven little, eight little, nine little fingers,
Ten fingers folded in prayer.

And by the time we finish that song, the children are ready for prayer.

Another thing that we did is teach our children, as soon as they had the vocabulary of the word “amen” to close out our prayers.  Daddy would  pray and whoever was in charge of saying “amen” that day would close it out. And I remember so well about 18 months, Little Man would raise his hands and say “Amen.”  From a very young age they were able to have a part in prayer.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 06:24

Yes, that introduction into owning prayer was huge and precious.  We would often do “fill in the blank” prayer. So, as we were modeling prayer, “Thank you God for this day, thank you God for this meal, thank you for a roof over our heads, thank you for this family.”  Then we could turn to a toddler and say, “Thank you for _____ (pause).”  And they might say the same thing you said, parroting what you said. But eventually, step by step, they would begin to fill in the blank with something they were thankful for.  Again hilarious!  Things that children are thankful for.

That’s the repetition, making it a part of your daily routine, your daily rhythms. Just short prayers, because kids don’t hold that many words.

Heidi Franz, Host 07:10

I kept track of some of my favorite prayers that my kids said. In preparing for this podcast, Melanie, I brought with me one of the prayers that Little Man said right before his fourth birthday.

This was his prayer. “Thank you for my friend Noah. I like him.  And for my friend Mommy.  She is nice.  And for dress-up day. I want to be a superhero and I want to save you, God and the Lord and Jesus. But I won’t save Satan and Goliath, because they are bad. I don’t want to obey them. I want to obey you, Jesus, the Lord and God. Amen. And for the food.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 07:51

[Laughing] Don’t forget the food.

Heidi Franz, Host 07:52

Absolutely, but I love the innocence of that prayer. Now you will notice that it’s not quite theologically sound, but he is learning the process.  And oh how I should learn from my three-year-old that I can just talk to God. You know, in Luke 11, Jesus modeled prayer for his disciples.  We too must take the time to model prayer for our children. We can further encourage them in our honesty to say I’m struggling with this.  God, I need your help. This is tough.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 08:33

Yes, there’s a place and a time for those rote prayers, but we can come before the Lord in all circumstances and just talk to Him. That’s huge and that kind of goes hand in glove with the verse “pray without ceasing” in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. That’s exactly what it tells us is to do.

When we don’t just pray at mealtime, just bedtime, just Sunday mornings, when we help our children see that we can go to God any time of day, in small and large matters.  Passing an accident on the side of the road saying, “Lord be with them.” When I get a phone call or I am so frustrated with somebody, God, “Help me control my anger.” So just making it such an organic part of my life that they see it too.

Heidi Franz, Host 09:25

And making it our go-to reaction. You stated about when you receive a phone call or a text that frustrates you, to immediately go to God with that, instead of wanting to tell somebody about it.  Instead of wanting to post on Facebook how upset you are about it, but to immediately go to God. I love Philippians 4:6. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Notice how Paul is instructing us to not even step into the circle of anxiety. Immediately, we are to go to God in prayer and our kids are watching.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 10:07

Now that my kids are older, knowing that now whether they’re praying or not, it’s not up to me.  But I know that they have the equipping to pray in their classrooms or on the bus to a game for one of their sports.  It’s just so ingrained in them.  It’s part of who they are.

Heidi Franz, Host 10:24

And they can immediately take those concerns to God. They don’t need us to be there to lead them through the process.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 10:31

Right, right, and so as much as we are modeling it, we’re making it part of just an ongoing conversation throughout the day. We also want to be careful that we are not saying don’t have a set-aside time with God. So for me, it’s a morning prayer time. I’m reading scripture, I’m praying over my day, praying over my kids.  I know for some people that happens at bedtime, but whatever that looks like.  Helping them understand that we can have a designated time in our day and we make this conversation with God a priority.

It’s not, “Oh, I forgot to pray today.” It’s “I get to pray.”   

Heidi Franz, Host 11:12

So Melanie, I know that a popular baby and toddler gift is books of prayer. Should children simply memorize and pray these pre-written prayers? What are your thoughts on that?

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 11:25

I think there’s value in rote prayers, just like we talked about earlier. We know preschoolers learn through repetition. I don’t know about you, but my kids, when they were that age, endlessly requested the same book, and so there is value in them hearing the same words over and over again. Again, I would caution asking yourself some questions: Is it quality? Is it true? Is it scripture-based? We have the Bible as our benchmark for that, so use it.  But I think, as long as it’s accurate, it’s a great way to help toddlers, preschoolers learn prayer,

Heidi Franz, Host 11:59

And, as we have talked from the beginning of this podcast, though, we also want to teach children how to have honest talks with God. While there is a place for these rote prayers, we also want to model and teach children that God wants to hear their thoughts. God is a big God and nothing that they say is going to surprise him or shock him.  We want to teach children how to talk honestyly about their emotions, their feelings, their dreams, their aspirations. Yes, there is a place for those books, but also remember to teach those honest conversations.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 12:45

OK, so here’s a fun one. What do we do with a child that flat out refuses to pray?

Heidi Franz, Host 12:51

If I was sitting across from a mama at a coffee shop and they said my child refuses to pray, I would say it’s normal. It is very common for kids to go through those stages where they just don’t want to pray out loud. So remove the battle. When we make it a battle, it reminds me of potty training. You know, when we make a battle of a potty training is when all the accidents happen. When we remove the battle is when we allow the child to have the freedom to do what they’re supposed to do. So I would say, first of all, remove the battle and continue to model what prayer looks like, and then also to model what prayer is in your life.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 13:40

Let them see that, yeah.  Which brings me to another point… If it’s not genuine, kids are excellent hypocrite sniffer-outers. If we are not coming humbly before the Lord and genuinely praying out of the desire to have that interaction with God, they’re going to know. So that’s kind of like the first red flag.

But the second thing is that prayer time is not the time for discipline. Maybe after a prayer time, come alongside and say, “Hey, you know, I noticed that you really are not wanting to participate in prayer at mealtime. Can we talk about that? What’s going on? Help me understand why this is a no for you.” Now, this is obviously for an older child who can express why. For a toddler, a preschooler, just like you said, let it go. It’ll come with time, as they get older and they still don’t want to do it, then have the conversation. But when they’re little, that’s not a battle you want to get into, because then it becomes a have-to-perform-for-God thing. Does that make sense?

Heidi Franz, Host 14:42

Absolutely. Now I will say that there were times when I would have a child who would become very silly during their prayer time. That was when my husband or myself would explain to them that when we talk to God, it’s not about ourselves. It is not to draw laughs; it is not to draw attention. We are talking to God and we need to be respectful about that

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 15:10

I feel like we need to remember it’s an awesome God that we serve and the word awe. There’s a reverence that we can come before God even as a child. Will it be perfect? Of course not, but we model that reverence.

Heidi Franz, Host 15:29

Exactly. You and I have talked about how to teach babies and toddlers and preschoolers. But what happens if I’m a mom who has teenagers and I have never taught them this? I’ve never modeled this. Maybe I’m a new Christian. Is it too late?

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 15:44

Oh no, absolutely not. But I think the same steps still apply, right? I mean, you can start with a rote prayer, if that makes you feel more comfortable, and just begin as a family to do that. Or just invite your kid to sit next to you as you are praying to God. Let them hear that conversation that you’re having with the Lord.

Heidi Franz, Host 16:05

Because this has not been my story, it’s not something that I have experienced. But I can say there is nothing more powerful than listening to a new Christian prayer, because in some ways it’s very much like a child praying, in that it’s so full of faith and so full of awe.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 16:31

They are not hindered by all of the fear and anxiety and the Christian-ese that we seem to pick up along the way.

Heidi Franz, Host 16:40

You’re so right.  I envy new Christians being able to pray, because they just speak what they want to say to God.  That is powerful. There are no rules about what makes them right and what makes them wrong.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 16:59

And I think this is a great place for questions and comments to be posted. We have a Parenting to Impress Facebook group. It is private, so only the members of that group can see these questions or comments. We’d love to hear from you what are the things that are working for you as you begin your prayer journey with the Lord, or what questions do you have If you’re a new believer. We’d love to help walk along this path with you, so please share there.

Heidi Franz, Host 17:25

And it’s not that we have all the answers. We would like to join you in this journey because we’ve made a lot of mistakes on the way.

Melanie Simpson, Co-Host 17:39

Yes, ma’am, and we are still learning, and we would love to learn alongside you and encourage you. I mean, it is our privilege, I think, as sisters in Christ, to get to pray with you, pray for you, and so that would be a joy for me, absolutely.

Heidi Franz, Host 17:51

I can’t help but apply prayer to our parenting theme. Verse from Deuteronomy 6:7. “Impress on your children.” Impress prayer on your children. Pray with your children when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

I can’t promise that if you do every one of these steps, that your child will have a deep prayer life. But as I listen to our four children pray, I am blown away by their honest and unfiltered conversation that they have with God. You know, it makes me think. Maybe instead of me teaching my children, my children are actually teaching me how to pray.

Announcer 18:34

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